Life surely is a balance between yin and yang-light and shadow. She just cerebrate 13th year birthday and she was chosen veg pet magazine as I post these news on the blogs. Many times tragedy struck when I least expected it.
Kula was diagnosed spleen cancer and already spread to lungs. I was so shocked and sad and did not know what to do for a while…
We took her to her annual checkup and blood test and found out she has internal bleeding, so we had to take her to a special internal medicine animal hospital to get an ultrasound and x-ray. I was fervently praying that it was nothing serious, but she was diagnosed with spleen cancer, which had already spread to her lungs. I knew she lost some muscle around her hip area last month after injuring her leg and not walking as much, but it was not her leg injury that was causing her muscle loss. I also noticed one night that her tummy was bigger than usual, so I was concerned, but a few days later I did not notice it as much, so I thought she must have eaten too much. At her age she has a good appetite and enjoys meeting people at Farmers Market every Saturday, and still visits senior homes as a therapy dog.
I asked myself that what did I do wrong?
Why didn’t I take her for a checkup when I noticed her tummy was bigger?
Why didn’t I catch when her condition change?
The questions kept haunting me.
I talked to three vets (two holistic vets and one conventional). Dr. Lane (my main holistic vet) and Dr. Hadar (conventional vet) both said since five of her brothers died from cancer at a much younger age, and most golden retrieves get cancer because of a genetic propensity, Kula may have succumbed to that. Kula still has a good appetite, and she enjoys her life without reserve, so the chemical free and GMO plant-based homemade food has kept her from losing her appetite and retreating from a normal life. Dr. Hadar, who performed the ultrasound and x-ray, told me that Kula will live a few weeks to two months. I was too shocked to hear about it. As I am writing this I am not able to accept it and numb from the sudden prospect of losing Kula, but I know in my heart that Kula needs me to focus on her healing, not on my feelings of guilt or grief. She is eating, doing her best and not giving up on her life.
I have been studying animal communication, so I talked to her about her cancer. She said “I am not feeling pain, but sometimes I feel more tired, so I thought I was just getting old. I still enjoy my life and now I have more time to be with you so I am not worried. Please don’t worry, because then I will worry about you. I enjoy my short walks, going to Santa Monica Farmers Market and seeing Leyla the apple vendor and all of the children who come to pet me and feed me snacks of organic Fuji apples (she only likes Fuji apples). I also love visiting our neighbor Nancy and going to a senior home as a service/therapy dog.”
When I asked Kula if I can share her story, she said “ Mommy, do you need to ask me that? You wrote Healthy Happy Pooch book so that you can share with others what you thought was best for you against all odds and wanted others to benefit from what you experienced and learned. I trust you to do the same and help other dogs and dog’s family go through tough times the best way they can, through my story and photos.” She made me feel that I have been loved by her so much that I can’t even express with words. She also talked to my animal communicator teacher, Lydia Hiby and she is not ready to leave so soon and she really enjoys her life and appreciates everything she has been receiving from us and other five dogs and two kitty family are very understanding her condition and caring what she is going through. Animal Communication is helping us to understand what Kula is feeling and this is very important for me since now she has cancer and I want to do the best for her. I feel the animal communication works and we understand each other better and helping Kula to ease her cancer condition.
This is unbearably difficult for me, but being in denial is not going to help anything or anyone, so I am accepting my fear, sadness and mental suffering so that I can go on with my daily ritual of getting up in the morning, appreciating my life and Kula’s life and her courage, kindness and beautiful soul. My life has changed so much since she was diagnosed from the cancer. I communicate with her every day do my best to help her to fill full her life one day at time. It is surely a rewarding job I have received so I am grateful to Kula!
If you have a heart for her, please pray for her to fulfill her life and miraculous recover from this cancer one day at a time!